On a more personal note...

I guess I feel as though I want to share this because I am so grateful to God for answering my prayers and grateful to my family for all their love and support. At a routine pre-natal visit at the end of October my doctor walked in looked at my file and asked "did anyone call you regarding your 20wk ultrasound" (which I had done 7 weeks prior) and I said no. She told me that they had found an abnormality, a marker for down syndrome. I was in shock, I didn't even ask her any questions, she referred me to a Maternal Fetal Specialist. As soon as I got out to the parking lot I began to sob, I got home and could barely control myself enough to tell Marc. When pregnant with both the girls we never talked about what we would do if we found out there was something wrong. But ironically about a month before we had received the news, with the election going on and the talk of Governor Palin having a baby with Downs we both agreed that of course we would never think of doing anything other than accept and love a baby with any disability. Against my better judgement I began to search the internet and as expected there wasn't much positive information. I found out that the abnormality was not only a "strong" indicator of Downs but of serious heart problems as well. We had to wait 3 weeks to get in to see the specialist, probably the most difficult 3 weeks of my life. I prayed all the time and cried everyday. I would not have made it through without Marc's love, support and optimism, as much as he can drive me crazy sometimes he is my rock. I want to thank my mom for spending hours a day on the phone with me and for flying here last minute just to be here when we went to the specialist. And thanks to my dad for his encouraging, kind words and love as well as to my brother and sister and my Aunt Sharon and Aunt Pat who I know prayed 24/7, lit candles at church, and asked others to pray with them. Please don't get me wrong, it wasn't so much about having a child with Downs, because I know there are so many worse things out there but I worried about the heart problems, and possibility of a short life span and it's like I was grieving the loss of all the hopes and dreams I had for a healthy little boy. Our visit with the specialist was excruciating, two hours of ultrasound and of course the Tech can't give you any information. The specialist came in at the end and told us that they didn't find any other indicators (I believe there are 5 for Downs) which was good but we were still at risk. She told us the only way we would know for sure was with amniocentisis but at 30 weeks an amnio can cause pre-term labor and we did not want to put the baby at any more of a risk. So we decided to wait until the birth, and I continued to pray day and night. So needless to say the anxiety and anticipation leading up to the arrival of our little man was sometimes overwhelming. The moment he was born they put him on my chest and I knew either way I was in love, it took a few minutes to realize that he was healthy and I was so incredibly thankful. I find myself staring at him all the time (more so than I did with the girls-although I love them all the same!) and I think what joy this unexpected little blessing has brought and it makes me all the more grateful to have 3 beautiful, healthy children.